Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I know my husband loves me, but when he walks up and pokes me in a not-so-firm part of my tummy, it's just yet another daily reminder of how I really need to jump on the getting in shape bandwagon. Don't get me wrong - I'm absolutely an advocate for fitness, I just have a pocket full of specific conditions...er...excuses that I bring up when it comes time to run around the track.

Yes, run. With the recent status of our economy (Thanks to "The Decider".....imbecile.), I lost my fancy schmancy job at the research park which has left me working odd jobs while searching for something that will actually pay the bills. Due to the government's bureaucracy and sloth, my husband, a tax-paying resident of the U.S. for more than six years now, is unable to legally work until his status is adjusted - which leaves me to be his sugar mama. Now that mama has no job, I can't join a gym, and that *sigh* leaves me to running.

As Spring has drawn the flowers out of their beds, it's also drawn a lot of runners to shed their winter chub. I have to admit I envy their grace and ability to continue without stopping to pant every thirty seconds. Ironically, due to my three years as a cross country/track coach in high school, I find myself criticizing joggers' strides or arm movements knowing full-well I'd be bent over ready to barf if I tried to compete. I would like to be able to run a marathon someday inshaAllah, and actually have dreams of myself effortlessly sprinting at full speed with no huffing, puffing, flared nostrils, red face or cotton mouth. However, currently in the real world, I hate running. In fact, while in New York a few Summers back, my naive Midwestern self arrogantly proclaimed to on-coming traffic, "I run for no one!!" Thirty seconds later I was hit by a cab.

I digress...

It's not that I don't eat healthy. I gladly fork out approximately $400 in groceries so we don't consume pesticides and antibiotics. We rarely eat out and if we eat fast food it's probably once a month. I also don't snack or eat excessively. My husband can't override his Arabness and is always telling me, "Amie, eat! You never eat anything." Oh, really. So that's why I shop the plus-size section?...

The problem is, I get discouraged easily, and I don't exercise. It's not that I don't like it. It's that I don't plan it, and haven't found/can't afford a gym that I like. Since I have to exercise at home or inside, I find excuses like, "There are too many guys around," "It's too cold outside," "the weather is on," "I heard there was a pack of wild dogs on the loose" - the list goes on and on. I purposefully chose an apartment with three flights of stairs so that I would force myself to exert a little more effort - I'm not gonna lie. And on top of that, I usually lose a few pounds, and celebrate by eating cake (or something). Then the pounds come back, they bring friends, and I'm the only one unhappy at the party. Or when I AM exercising, and a family member mentions my weight or something and I eat chocolate to soothe myself - did I mention I'm an emotional eater?!

Therefore, I've decided to just get over it. Someone once told me if you can run two miles you can run a marathon - it's all mind over matter. Since I do, one day intend on running one, I should probably get started now - considering my fitness level is probably one mile max (with a super-sized order of myocardial infarction). There's no reason for me to be overweight. I don't want surgery or pills - I want it to be through my efforts alone, and there's no reason why I can't.

I don't want to weigh myself because I don't see it to be encouraging AND (before you judge...) because I think it doesn't matter the weight. I have several thin friends who eat horribly and don't exercise - does their thin-ness constitute health? Probably not. Plus, my prime motivation is to look hot, fit into smaller clothes, and of course, be more fit. I eventually want to take on my one-hour-per-day runner of a husband in a foot race. Also, according to the American Heart Association, it's not weight, but BMI and inches on your waist.

So, in honor of Spring and Spring Cleaning, I'm throwing out my old attitude, and hopefully a few extra inches.

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